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By Evan Wolfson: Returning to the Well

Freedomt to Marry
June 7, 2006

Much has been said lately about right-wing groups such as Focus on the Family (and the Republican Party) once again rolling out their anti-gay so-called "Marriage Protection Amendment," which seeks to enshrine discrimination into our nation's Constitution. While our opponents' attack on a vulnerable minority to divide voters and stir up their base during a critical election year is heinous, the response from our side (including much of the Democratic Party and Republican moderates) is nowhere near strong or authentic enough.

While it is true that our nation has many pressing concerns, too many on our side cling to the argument that the crucial national conversation about ending discrimination in marriage is a distraction from other "more important" matters. Not only do they miss the opportunity to make the case for ending marriage discrimination and thereby persuade the reachable-but-not-yet-reached, they send an additional insult to the couples around the country who consider their lives, and those of their children and loved ones, to be very important indeed.

It is essential that we not minimize the importance of the movement for equal marriage rights to families around the country. Marriage matters — and the American people deserve the opportunity to engage in this civil rights conversation focusing not on diversionary tactics (from either side), but on the real lives of lesbian and gay couples and their kids, as well as the harms they face as a result of their exclusion from this most basic social and legal institution.

The abandonment of any effort to persuade the center on big questions has, for more than a decade now, ceded ground and power to the right-wing. Silence and evasion are costing the country as well as gay couples and their kids the chance to make the case, win the hearts, earn the respect, and see America reach the better angels of its nature. It's not enough to oppose and defeat a federal amendment; we must make the case for ending discrimination in marriage in every state, nationwide.