Freedom To Marry

The gay and non-gay partnership working to win marriage equality nationwide

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By Evan Wolfson

Macy's Joins the Parade for Marriage Equality
Huffington Post
May 30, 2008

Evan Wolfson highlights the Macy’s ad in honor of the freedom to marry in California, the significance of a poll showing majority support for equality and against a discriminatory amendment in California, and a video of Bill O’Reilly’s skepticism about the opposition to marriage equality.

A week later in California, what's next?
Huffington Post
May 22, 2008

Evan Wolfson discusses how the CA Supreme Court not only did the right thing, it did its job--upholding the Constitution, and now equality must be defended.

The court got it right
USA Today
May 22, 2008

Evan Wolfson writes, "Last week, the highest court in our nation's biggest state got it right: Excluding loving committed couples from marriage harms them and their families and helps no one. Exclusion also violates the constitution's command of equality for all. American values of fairness and inclusion really do matter and apply to gay and non-gay people alike."

Taxing Our Patience
Evan Wolfson
April 7, 2008
As the tax deadline approaches, Evan Wolfson discusses how marriage discrimination causes unfair taxes for families across the country and offers examples of such discrimination. 

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Today is Freedom to Marry Day – Just Don't Say "Gay Marriage"!
Evan Wolfson
February 12, 2008

As Americans across the country celebrate Freedom to Marry Day today, seizing the opportunity to have conversations with family members, friends, and coworkers about the importance of ending same-sex couples' exclusion from marriage, hopefully they'll talk a lot about gay couples and why marriage matters – without saying “gay marriage” and “same-sex marriage.” 

Al Gore Endorses the Freedom to Marry
Huffington Post
January 23, 2008

Evan Wolfson praises Nobel Laureate Al Gore for adding his voice in support of ending same-sex couples' exclusion from marriage.  Wolfson quotes Gore, who said, “I think that gay men and women ought to have the same rights as heterosexual men and women, to make contracts, to have hospital visiting rights, to join together in marriage, and I don’t understand why it is considered by some people to be a threat to heterosexual marriage to allow it by gays and lesbians.”  Wolfson concludes, “Gore is again pointing the way — and ending exclusion from marriage is one climate change the world will be better for.”

Building on 2007
Freedom to Marry
January 15, 2008

In 2008, it is due season for the redeeming of our country, for justice for all families, and for that all-important second state.  The work of winning begins with the conversations each one of us has with those around us, as we become the change we seek.

Let California Ring: Talking About Change Makes It
Huffington Post
October 23, 2007

Evan Wolfson writes about Let California Ring, the new campaign to encourage a million conversations throughout the state (and hopefully millions across the country) about why everyone should care about ending the exclusion of same-sex couples from marriage. Wolfson points to the recent example of San Diego Republican Mayor Jerry Sanders' change of heart and mind in favor of marriage equality as proof that conversations work. There is momentum — and urgency — now as the California Supreme Court, the first court to strike down race-discrimination in marriage nearly 60 years ago, will soon hear a challenge to ongoing marriage discrimination.

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A Tearful Republican Mayor Comes Out — For the Freedom to Marry
The Huffington Post
September 20, 2007

Complete with video, Evan Wolfson highlights an emotional press conference by San Diego Mayor Jerry Sanders, a Republican former police chief, at which he announced his intention to sign a resolution supporting the freedom to marry, a reversal from his prior public opposition. Mayor Sanders said his change of heart and mind was due to soul-searching and personal conversations with gay people he knows, including his lesbian daughter, showing how powerful it is to make the conversation about real people, not just legalisms or hypotheticals. He also described how he has come to understand that his prior support for civil union, rather than marriage, was inadequate and wrong. San Diego now joins the other major California cities in calling on the Governor and State Supreme Court to follow the legislature's lead in embracing marriage equality.

Marriage Equality: A Cause and Conversation That Won't (and Shouldn't) Stop
The Huffington Post
September 13, 2007

Evan Wolfson notes the recent events of an Iowa court decision striking down discrimination in marriage, the California legislature passing a marriage equality bill, and a Republican presidential candidate getting booed in New Hampshire for being anti-marriage, all proof that the conversation about the freedom to marry is unavoidable and present at the epicenters of presidential politics. Wolfson presents important points from the Iowa decision which exemplify why marriage matters and offers advice to presidential candidates with the Candidates' Guide on How to Support Marriage Equality and Get Elected.

Why the Dems should NOT shut up about gays and marriage
The New Republic
August 18, 2007

Evan Wolfson responds to August 16, 2007's piece in The New Republic, explaining that, "As public support for marriage equality continues to evolve, Democrats, thus already perceived as the party of 'gay marriage,' have a winning issue on their hands, one that evokes the best traditions of their party—fairness and inclusion. The conversation will not stop. Candidates who want to move on to other questions ought to get the freedom to marry question right—for their sake as well as the country's."

This week's gay debate: A prime-time opportunity for straight talk on marriage
The Huffington Post
August 8, 2007

As we all prepare for tonight's historic Democratic Presidential Debate, sponsored by our partners at HRC & LOGO, check out the key points Evan Wolfson laid out in the Featured Post on the Huffington Post blog. It discusses how candidates should answer the marriage questions at the forum, and beyond. The piece contains links to several resources to help the candidates do better — not just because it's in our interest that they get it right, but because it's in theirs, too.

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Candidates' Guide on How to Support Marriage Equality and Get Elected (pdf)
Freedom to Marry
August 7, 2007

Americans are hungry for, and respect, candidates who speak up for what they believe and value. When addressing marriage equality for same-sex couples, candidates should be authentic and direct about their values and the policies of fairness that flow from them.

If You Want to Be a Leader, You Can't Be Afraid to Lead
The Huffington Post
July 26, 2007

Evan Wolfson critiques the Democratic Presidential candidates' "affirming," but still "incomplete and unconvincing" responses about the freedom to marry during the CNN/YouTube debate this week, offering the advice: "Ending the exclusion of same-sex couples from marriage is the clear and correct answer to the question of how to achieve equality. What's more: it is achievable. Candidates who say they want equality (and the votes of those who believe in equality) should be prepared to live up to their values and lead the way."

Pro-Marriage Incumbents and Candidates Win Elections
Freedom to Marry
July 26, 2007

Taking a stand to end the exclusion of same-sex couples from marriage does not hurt incumbents or candidates in their elections.

'Homo history'
The Stranger
June 20, 2007

Touting this as the "comprehensive, unabridged, and completely indispensable guide to everything a queer person needs to know about queer history from the dawn of humanity to the present," The Stranger assembled essays from 26 notable gay people. Includes the essay "Same-Sex Marriage Comes to the U.S." by Evan Wolfson.

Marriage makes a word of difference
Portland Mercury
June 14, 2007

Evan Wolfson writes, "As Americans debate the freedom to marry, many are getting to a place of fairness by thinking anew. Others, however, find comfort in way stations, placeholders, and delays. The compulsion to 'compromise' the freedom and equality of others is so common, so much a typical feature of civil rights history, that I dedicated an entire chapter of my book, Why Marriage Matters: America, Equality, and Gay People's Right to Marry, to the question, 'Why Not Use Another Word?'"

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Loving equality
The Huffington Post
June 12, 2007

Freedom to Marry founder Evan Wolfson and civil rights attorney Bernard S. Cohen, who argued the Loving's case, write together about Loving v. Virginia as a milestone in racial equality, an important vindication of marriage as a cherished civil right, and a testament to the importance of fighting for equality, rather than sitting by silently, indifferently, or complacently in the face of cruel exclusion.

From where I stand
Genre Magazine
June 1, 2007

Evan Wolfson describes the challenges of 2006, as well as the progress in 2007 and beyond. There are opportunities for good work in all states, whether they have anti-gay amendments or not. Marriage equality is within reach in all 50 states—if we do the reaching.

Many thanks on this 10th annual Freedom to Marry Week
Freedom to Marry
February 14, 2007

Evan's full Freedom to Marry Day remarks where he discusses the important achievements from Freedom to Marry Day in 1997 through to today.

BLOG: Op-Ed: NJ marriage '08 — Start your engines
Blue Jersey
January 6, 2007

When Governor Corzine signed New Jersey's civil union bill into law late last year, he kicked off the next and last stage of the work to secure the full measure of protection and dignity that is every family's due, and which civil union fails to deliver. And so we turn now to the months of persuasion and persistence needed to win all committed couples in New Jersey the freedom to marry, shimmering within our reach.

A New Year's message from Evan Wolfson
Freedom to Marry
December 20, 2006

As 2006 winds down, it's a good time to take a look back, rest and recharge, and get ready to return in January for what already is shaping up to be a historic and potentially transformative year. It's dawned on me in the past few weeks that 2006 was actually a pretty hard year, but, at the same time, a year in which supporters of the freedom to marry clearly made deep progress.

Winning marriage
Tom Paine
October 27, 2006

Once again, America is heading into an Election Day with another round of ballot-measure attacks on gay people. While a shifting mood in the electorate may give our cause a boost—and as the public begins to wise up to Karl Rove's gay-scapegoat-distraction plan—we are still likely to lose most, if not all, of the ballot measures aimed against us this year. We need to be ready to explain that loss to ourselves, our media and the public so the right-wing cannot spin these defeats into a false claim that our cause undermines candidates or other concerns we share.

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LETTERS TO THE EDITOR: An enlightened ruling
New York Times
October 27, 2006

Evan Wolfson writes, "As the Legislature moves now to carry out the Constitution's command of equality, we are confident that legislators will see that the right way to end discrimination in marriage is indeed to end discrimination in marriage, not repackage it."

Telling the Truth
Freedom to Marry
October 11, 2006

Even the cruel, harsh, and despicably un-American state constitutional amendments are not the last word — unless we allow them to be. Ours is the generation that will live to see the exclusion from marriage ended in all fifty states, if we do the work... in all fifty states, using time wisely to do right.

Rise to Fairness
Freedom to Marry
September 27, 2006

If we do not speak out about why marriage matters, we can't expect others to calm down enough to hear other messages that might be easier for them to accept in the short-term, let alone rise to fairness.

Thinking Anew
Freedom to Marry
September 13, 2006

In the face of much that has gone wrong for America over the past five years, we have made undeniable progress in explaining why marriage matters to gay Americans. With the blueprint still before us, let's renew and redouble our work for social justice and reap the harvest we've sown.

California, Here We Come
Freedom to Marry
August 30, 2006

Freedom to Marry's Executive Director Evan Wolfson talks about the California Equality Project. This project will bring to bear the expertise and resources of a coalition of more than 30 national, state, and local civil rights and lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender organizations, including Freedom to Marry and many of our partners.

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Stay in the fight: The court stumbled, but the movement for justice continues
The Stranger
July 28, 2006

Judges and politicians who don't do the right thing now will feel deep shame at their abdication in this moment of history. So will we—unless we move now to nudge past 5-4 to a full victory, ending the exclusion from marriage and creating a community of equality, liberty, and justice for all, just as Washington envisioned.

Why we fight for the freedom to marry
Equality California
July 10, 2006

Our fight for the freedom to marry is a fulfillment of American values — not just because most people value love, commitment, and protections for family, for which we seek marriage, but also because it is part of the history of freedom that those who seek freedom must stand up for it.

The freedom to marry: Keep dancing
The Advocate
July 10, 2006

Against the power of our truth and the inevitable rise to ascendancy of younger people who favor the freedom to marry, opponents of equality have only increasingly hollow appeals to "intuitions" and "traditions" that merely perpetuate rather than justify discrimination, present but curable discomfort that manifests itself in illogic and—here's where the ball is in our court—inertia that results from the failure of those who care to speak up and take action.

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Returning to the well
Freedomt to Marry
June 7, 2006

As the right wing of the Republican party once again rolling out the anti-gay so-called "Marriage Protection Amendment" which seeks to enshrine discrimination into our nation's constitution, the Democrats' response is scarcely better.

The Constitution protects us all: Say no to discriminatory amendments
Freedom to Marry
May 24, 2006

The so-called "Federal Marriage Amendment," if passed, would intrude the federal government into the regulation of marriage to prevent all states and all future generations from making their own decisions on ending sex discrimination in marriage, just as they ended race discrimination in marriage a generation ago.

Marriage equality, justice in immigration go together (pdf)
The Advocate
April 11, 2006

Gay people — both citizens and non-citizens — have a direct stake in both immigration fairness and ending anti-gay discrimination.

Marriage equality moves forward
TomPaine.com
March 29, 2006

Not only are we seeing the American people moving swiftly (in historical terms) toward marriage equality, but, in fact it turns out that even the third Wolfson considered unreachable on any reasonable timeline are not so adamant.

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Celebrating Freedom to Marry Day with a call for marriage equality and fairness for all families
Wisconsin State Journal
February 14, 2006

As Freedom to Marry Week draws near, Wolfson calls for gay and lesbian families and allies to take every opportunity to address people's concerns, answer questions, and give them the time and information they need to learn why marriage matters.

Just say no to civil union
The Stranger
October 20, 2005

Evan Wolfson, executive director of Freedom to Marry, discusses the inequities of civil unions and why the freedom to marry matters. As the Washington court decision draws near, Wolfson expresses the importance of those who favor equality and inclusion to help explain to the "reachable middle" why marriage matters and why ending marriage discrimination is the right thing to do.

Marriage Equality is Within Reach, If We Do the Reaching (and Don't Under-Reach)
Freedom to Marry
October 16, 2005

Originally adapted from a speech given to the Legal Marriage Alliance of Washington (.wav) on October 16, 2005
Adapted and published in The Stranger on October 20, 2005
Evan Wolfson discusses the importance of those who favor equality and inclusion to help explain to the "reachable middle" why, "The right way to end discrimination in marriage is to, well, end discrimination in marriage. Not create something new, different, lesser, or other."

Countering a right-wing claim to the "slippery slope" argument
Freedom to Marry
October 12, 2005

Evan Wolfson sets the record straight about an ongoing right-wing smear tactic that keeps attempting to gain ground across the country.

ON THE HORIZON: Order and the Courts
E-Update Issue #1
September 7, 2005

The death of Chief Justice William Rehnquist, at the end of last week, like the unfolding tragedies in the wake of Katrina, underscores the stakes of getting involved in shaping the government we want and need...

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STATEMENT: Nebraska Ruling
Freedom to Marry
May 13, 2005

Evan Wolfson comments on the sweeping anti-gay amendment passed in Nebraska by the state Supreme Court.

ANALYSIS: Is now really the right time to fight for the freedom to marry?
Freedom to Marry
March 18, 2005

Evan Wolfson explains why we can't let our opponents slow us down, or let opinion polls dictate the fight for civil rights.

ANALYSIS: The wrong thing to do: Clinton's anti-gay advice
Freedom to Marry
November 5, 2004

Newsweek's post-election (November 15th) issue alleges behind-the-scenes advice to Kerry from Clinton: Support anti-gay state amendments to ban marriage equality. Kerry said no. Kerry was right on the merits and strategy.

ANALYSIS: What do the election results mean for the movement toward marriage equality?
Freedom to Marry
November 3, 2004

"Painful as these discriminatory measures will be for families and those who love them... they will not stop our advance toward the freedom to marry."

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ANALYSIS: How will same-sex couples legally married in Massachusetts, Canada, or elsewhere be treated?
Freedom to Marry
May 20, 2004

Past battles over marriage and divorce show a pattern. For a period of time, there will be a patchwork of law and responses...

ANALYSIS: Why are the polls on 'gay marriage' so inconsistent?
Freedom to Marry
April 16, 2004

It's all about the 'moveable middle,' that group of Americans who are genuinely wrestling with divided impulses. The way a question is framed leads to highly changeable survey outcomes as these individuals grapple with deep feelings about fairness, discrimination, and American equality.

Advancing toward equality in marriage
Unitarian Universalist Association
April 1, 2004

Non-gay allies are vitally needed and have much to offer in the civil rights struggle for marriage equality for same-sex couples. It is crucial that diverse non-gay people, clergy, and opinion-leaders who support the goal of marriage equality speak out in the public arena.

President Bush's State of the Union - Letter to the Editor
New York Times
January 22, 2004

Politicians who want to amend the Constitution to discriminate in marriage are the greatest threat to American families and values.

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ANALYSIS: What's all this talk about amending the Constitution?
Freedom to Marry
January 21, 2004

The Constitution safeguards every person's basic freedom and our nation's unity. Since 1791 the Constitution has only been amended 17 times, but never before to take away rights or equality from any group of Americans. Here's what's behind this political effort....

ANALYSIS: Why should I be for 'gay marriage'?
Freedom to Marry
December 3, 2003

We are asking for marriage, not "gay marriage" — the same rules, the same responsibilities, the same protections, the same dignity, the same commitment, the same opportunity to declare your love for another person with whom you build a life.

ADVISORY: Advice to Candidates
Freedom to Marry
November 21, 2003

How candidates should answer the question about where they stand on marriage equality turning back attacks by their opponents while preserving their "airtime" for the principal themes and issues in their campaign.

For Richer, For Poorer: Same-Sex Couples and the Freedom to Marry as a Civil Right
Drum Major Institute
June 1, 2003

Excluding same-sex couples from the economic and social benefits of marriage harms the most vulnerable, those of lesser means, immigrants, people who are ill, and children.

From Chapter 3 of Why Marriage Matters: Women as Legally Subordinate to Their Husbands
Why Marriage Matters

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APPENDIX B: DISCRIMINATION: PROTECTIONS DENIED TO SAME-SEX COUPLES AND THEIR KIDS
Why Marriage Matters
Here are just some of the ways in which government's denying the freedom to marry punishes couples and families by depriving them of critical tangible as well as intangible protections and responsibilities in virtually every area of life.

Crossing the Threshold: Equal Marriage Rights for Lesbians and Gay Men and the Intra-Community Critique (pdf)
NYU Rev. of Law & Social Change 576
1994

In a law review article, Evan Wolfson addresses the intra-community differences of opinion and emphasis most recently reincarnated in the "Beyond Marriage" document and press blitz. Wolfson examines the false "either/or" premises of some advocates, and draws on history and social change theory in evaluating many of the claims made against the work to win the freedom to marry. The article was written in 1994.

 

Why Marriage Matters

Why Marriage Matters America, Equality, and Gay People's Right to Marry.
By Evan Wolfson

Read reviews! Purchase the book or receive a signed copy as a thank you for your donation!

Sharing Our Stories

Read families’ stories about how marriage discrimination affects everyday life. These stories communicate, in concrete ways, how the exclusion of same-sex couples from marriage hurts families and helps no one.

The Marriage Basics

Start in The Marriage Basics to get short answers to your big questions about the freedom to marry, and learn more about the protections and responsibilities of marriage, the historical background for this civil rights movement, why separate is not equal, and so much more.