Freedom to Marry E-Update
Issue # 12 | March 1, 2006

Dear Friend of Freedom to Marry —

Along with the intangible and precious security, clarity, and dignity that marriage can bring to a committed couple in love, a 2004 government study found that there are at least 1,138 ways in which marriage triggers federal consequences, including important protections and responsibilities in every area of life. This is in addition to fifty sets of state laws that, when added to the federal, make marriage the gateway to access to health care and medical decision-making for a partner and children, parenting and immigration rights, inheritance rules, Social Security and other government benefits, a system for ending a relationship while protecting both parties, and the ability to pool resources or to buy or transfer property without adverse tax consequences — to name just a few.

Marriage brings a safety-net that most Americans cherish in the ordinary ups and downs of life and in times of family emergency or hardship. The denial of marriage and its tangible protections and responsibilities causes real suffering to real people.

Take for instance a couple like Laurel Hester and Stacie Andree. You’ve probably already heard of them, thanks to the hard work of New Jersey's Garden State Equality. In 2005, after 23 years on the job as a detective for the Ocean County, prosecutor's office, Laurel Hester learned that she was dying of lung cancer. She asked the county freeholders to allow her to pass her pension on to her partner Stacie, which would “mean the difference in whether or not she can stay in the house,” Laurel explained. Although the couple had registered as domestic partners, and this would have been her automatic right had they been allowed to marry, Laurel's deathbed request was denied.

Visibly dying, Laurel went public with her story in the hopes of righting the wrong—and after a protracted battle won the right to pass her pension on to her partner just a few hard weeks before her death on Saturday, February 18th. But Laurel and Stacie should never have had to compound the pain and grief of Laurel's dying with the need to fight for what other couples have. Their ordeal and this injustice illustrate another reason why marriage matters, and why ending discrimination in marriage is a question of basic fairness.

Same-sex couples willing to take on the commitment and responsibilities of marriage should not be denied the opportunity to build a life together and pursue happiness with the partner they love. Nor should their children and families suffer the economic hardships and disadvantages that come with exclusion from marriage.

Read more about the freedom to marry as a question of economic justice in my essay “For Richer, For Poorer”, hosted by the Drum Major Institute for Public Policy.

— Evan Wolfson

Follow developments in the movement for marriage equality on our website, and in future issues of Freedom to Marry's bi-monthly E-Update.