Marriage Discrimination Harms Children & Families
Study after study has shown that children of lesbian or gay parents are as well-adjusted as those of non-gay parents. All children deserve the right to insurance coverage, social security, emergency care and inheritance rights no matter who their parents are. All families benefit from the intangible reassurance that comes from knowing that your family is safe and secure.
Use the key resources below to learn more about how marriage discrimination harms children and families.
FROM EVAN WOLFSON:
For Richer, For Poorer: Same-Sex Couples and the Freedom to Marry as a Civil Right
Excluding same-sex couples from the economic and social benefits of marriage harms the most vulnerable, those of lesser means, immigrants, people who are ill, and children.
Appendix B: Discrimination: Protections Denied to Same-Sex Couples and Their Kids
Here are just some of the ways in which government's denying the freedom to marry punishes couples and families by depriving them of critical tangible as well as intangible protections and responsibilities in virtually every area of life.
[TOP]
STORY CENTER COUPLES:
Meet some of the families from our Story Center
Nigel Simon and Alvin Williams
Lisa Laurey and Toni Williamson
[TOP]
WHERE YOU CAN GO TO GET INVOLVED OR LEARN MORE:
COLAGE
COLAGE is a national organization that engages, connects, and empowers children of lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender parents, their families and allies to make the world a better place for all.
Family Equality
The Family Equality Council (formerly Family Pride) is the national advocacy organization committed to securing family equality for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and queer parents, guardians and allies. Their work consists of strategically linked initiatives—broad in scope, but simple in vision—love, justice, family, equality.
PFLAG
Parents, Families & Friends of Lesbians & Gays (PFLAG) is a national non-profit organization with over 200,000 members and supporters and over 500 affiliates in the United States. PFLAG promotes the health and well-being of gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender persons, their families and friends through: support, education and advocacy to end discrimination and to secure equal civil rights.
HRC
The Human Rights Campaign's (HRC) resources for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender parents and their families professional, scientific and legislative links and information.
[TOP]
LEGISLATIVE STATUS OF GAY AND LESBIAN FAMILIES IN THE U.S.:
Human Rights Campaign: Parenting Legislation
The Human Rights Campaign tracks parenting legislation state by state.
[TOP]
THE NUMBERS: POLLING & STATISTICS:
- Across the United States, more than 39% of same-sex couples aged 22-55 are raising children — as many as several million, experts estimate.
- Gay and lesbian parents are raising four percent of all adopted children and three percent of all foster children in the United States.
- More than one in three lesbians have given birth and one in six gay men have fathered or adopted a child.
- More than half of gay men and 41 percent of lesbians want to have a child.
Published estimates of the number of same-sex adoptive parents in a 2000 fact sheet: "Gay and Lesbian Adoptive Parents: Resources for Professionals and Parents" by the National Adoption Information Clearinghouse, a service of the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services
[TOP]
PUBLICATIONS:
Children's book Uncle Bobby's Wedding charms with effortless inclusion
Mombian's Dana Rudolph writes, "Uncle Bobby’s Wedding, by Massachusetts author and illustrator Sarah Brannen, is more than just a good LGBT-inclusive children’s book; it is a good children’s book, period. It tells the sweet story of Chloe, an anthropomorphic young guinea pig who worries that Uncle Bobby won’t keep having fun with her after he marries his boyfriend Jamie. Uncle Bobby explains that their special times together will not end; Chloe will not be losing an uncle, but gaining one. The book ends at the wedding, with Chloe as the enthusiastic flower girl."
Adoption and foster care by gay and lesbian parents in the US
"Research documents that children raised by lesbian and gay parents do just fine," said Gates. "Our study documents that lesbian and gay couples who adopt are older, more educated, and have greater economic resources to support their children than do other adoptive families."
American Psychoanalytic Association Position Statement in Support of Marriage Equality
The American Psychoanalytic Association supports the legal recognition of civil marriage for same-sex couples with all the rights, benefits and responsibilities conferred by civil marriage, and opposes discrimination against same-sex couples, and the denial to same-sex couples these same rights, benefits and responsibilities.
Too High a Price: The Case Against Restricting Gay Parenting
The American Civil Liberties Union's "Too High A Price" provides chilling stories of how children are harmed by restrictions on gay parenting, and by detailing the many social science studies about gay parents and their children, it lays to rest any lingering doubts about the ability of gay people to be good parents.
The Legal Recognition of Same-Sex Relationships in the United States: A Social Science Perspective
Gregory M. Herek writes an up-to-date survey of social science research, and concludes that ending the exclusion of same-sex couples from marriage would benefit the couples, their kids, and society; and that as the public has a chance to consider this evidence, support for marriage equality will continue to grow.
The Effects of Marriage, Civil Union, and Domestic Partnership Laws on the Health and Well-Being of Children
The American Academy of Pediatrics' study finds marriage equality is good for children.
Same-Sex Couples and Same-Sex Couples Raising Children in The United States: Data from Census 2000
This report provides demographic and socio-economic information about same-sex couples and same-sex couples raising children in the United States.
Statement on Marriage and the Family
The Executive Board of the American Anthropological Association, the world's largest organization of anthropologists, released a statement in February 2004 in response to President Bush's call for an anti-marriage constitutional amendment. The statement strongly opposed such an amendment and noted, “anthropological research supports the conclusion that a vast array of family types, including families built upon same-sex partnerships, can contribute to stable and humane societies.”
"Adoption by Lesbians and Gays: A National Survey of Adoption Agency Policies, Practices, and Attitudes"
On a broad level, the study also demonstrates how profoundly social attitudes and practices toward gays and lesbians are changing, while the willingness of agencies to accept them as parents means a growing number of children who need homes are moving into permanent families.
Child Welfare League of America (CWLA) Position Statement on Parenting of Children by Gay, Lesbian, and Bisexual Adults
The Child Welfare League of America (CWLA) affirms that lesbian, gay, and bisexual parents are as well suited to raise children as their heterosexual counterparts.
Lesbian and Gay Parenting
The APA concludes there is no evidence to suggest that lesbian women or gay men are unfit to be parents or that psychosocial development among children of lesbian women or gay men is compromised relative to that among offspring of heterosexual parents. Their web resources and publications on the topic can be found here.
[TOP]
NEWS:
Psychoanalysts Support Legal Recognition of Marriage for Same-Sex Couples
The American Psychoanalytic Association (APsaA) has issued a position statement supporting the legal recognition of civil marriage for same-sex couples while opposing discrimination against same-sex couples. In recognition that gay and lesbian couples are raising children and possess the same potential and desire for life-long relationships as their heterosexual counterparts, the APsaA seeks to assist in ending the government-sanctioned discrimination against homosexual couples that denies them over 1,000 federal rights and benefits.
[Read position statement]
3 gay couples settle in as parents
Outside the three households, an American culture war rages over the rights of gay men and women to raise children. Inside, these three have been raising theirs for as long as a decade…Evan Wolfson, executive director of Freedom to Marry, said the ruling [in NY to recognize out of state marriages by same-sex couples] will mean more to the children of gay couples than how the bills get paid. "Beyond the tangible legal consequences, there's the intangible security that matters a lot to kids," Wolfson said. "Children whose parents are married have a legal relationship to both parents and are given a strong, clear confirmation from society that they and their parents form a family and that family is worthy of respect."
It's not a mortal sin to work for justice
My husband and I have been married 49 years. We are the parents of five grown daughters, one of whom is a lesbian. I speak with passion concerning our experience, which is marked by intense sadness because of the alienation my daughter and others like her continue to suffer, especially at the hands of the Catholic Church.
European Court: Gays Have Right To Adopt
In a ruling that could have far-reaching consequences the European Court of Human Rights said Tuesday that the exclusion of individuals to adopt children simply because of their sexual orientation is discriminatory and in breach of the European Convention of Human Rights.
Gay families seek lifting of adoption restrictions
The community is gearing up for a new political fight in the 2008 legislative session, which begins Monday. The goal: to get adoption restrictions on cohabitating couples, including same-sex couples, lifted.
Crossing the border
With New Hampshire joining the ranks of the civil union states this year, same-sex couples can now obtain all of the legal state benefits of marriage in four of the six New England states, either through civil unions in New Hampshire, Vermont and Connecticut or through marriage in Massachusetts. But what happens when you cross state lines? Legal professionals at Gay and Lesbian Advocates and Defenders (GLAD) answer some intricate questions dealing with civil unions and what they mean for couples, particularly dealing with parenting.
BLOG: Strengthening families?
While we wait for whatever it is we're waiting for, the things that happened to gay and lesbian families are going to continue to happen, and with little or no remedies or even the possibility of legal recourse. So, either that's acceptable or it's not. And if it's not, then it's worth asking what's going to be done about it. Otherwise we're asking people to continue to live with injustice without remedy, and to do so indefinitely.
Connecticut's ban on gay marriages doesn't stop families from forming
When 4-year-old Kailey wanted to see a picture of the "pretty dress" her mother wore when she got married, Eileen Ego and Corrine Frost knew it was time to have a talk with their daughter. Kailey's two moms, who have been together for 15 years, worried about explaining to their daughter why her parents are not married.
BLOG: Freedom to Marry vs. Justification to Discriminate
This informative post links to many position papers of leading public health experts and authorities.
Adults' Sexual Orientation and State Determinations Regarding Placement of Children
Michael Wald writes in unequivocal support for gay and lesbian parents and a systematic rejection of the principal arguments made against them.
[TOP]
MULTIMEDIA:
VIDEO: San Diego mayor rethinks his position on marriage
CBS5
Watch this very touching video of the Republican mayor of San Diego rethinking his position on marriage, rejecting civil union, and deciding to sign, not veto, a resolution adding San Diego to the other major California cities calling on the supreme court (and governor) to support the freedom to marry. He talks about his gay staffers, and his lesbian daughter, and being unable to look them in the face and say their love is unworthy or unequal.
VIDEO: Public Policy Lecture Series: "Should State Legislatures Approve Same-Sex Marriage?"
Evan Wolfson debates parenting and marriage equality with David Blankenhorn of the Institute for American Values. Evan draws on the leading experts (American Academy of Pediatrics, Family Law Quarterly) who say ending discrimination in marriage would help families and hurt no one, emphasizing that marriage matters to everyone, no matter their political persuasion.
Streaming video from Pace Law School
Download video
Evan's opening remarks on YouTube
PODCAST: Evan Wolfson discusses ending discrimination for the sake of our children
Listen to an interview of Evan Wolfson on The Gay Parenting Show as he discusses the importance of raising our children in a country where their own parents aren't discriminated against.
[TOP]
The Family Equality Council (formerly Family Pride) is the national advocacy organization committed to securing family equality for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and queer parents, guardians and allies. Their work consists of strategically linked initiatives—broad in scope, but simple in vision—love, justice, family, equality.
This report (pdf) provides demographic and socio-economic information about same-sex couples and same-sex couples raising children in the United States.
