Humor
Top 10 reasons why gay and lesbian couples should not be allowed to marry
- Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.
- Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.
- Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans.
- Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.
- Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Brittany Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.
- Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.
- Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.
- Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.
- Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.
- Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.
(It seems silly but these arguments, before the humorous common sense additions, are real reasons why some people opposed marriage equality.)
Miss Manners: Go ahead, bore them
When a reader writes to say he's dreading the questions from friends and family about the legality of his impending wedding, Miss Manners responds: " Precedent here is that most people love to talk about their wedding plans and take the slightest show of interest as license to go on and on until others are weak with boredom. There is no reason that you cannot achieve this effect."
Marriage in IA and the pending apocalypse
"Upon hearing news of Polk County Judge Robert Hanson's ruling smiting
Iowa's prohibition on same-sex marriage, I grabbed my well-thumbed
copy of James Dobson's 'Marriage Under Fire,' hopped in my Sin City
getaway car, and fled Des Moines before God had a chance to destroy
the capital city with fire and brimstone. I had to reach moral high
ground before it was too late. While crossing the county line, I was
tempted to look back and steal one final glimpse of the capital city
aflame."
VIDEO: Gay people getting married destroys heterosexual
marriages
Singer Oded Gross laments in this video the end of his marriage. He
has an idea of why his relationship has come to an end...
BLOG: Defenders of marriage?
Good As You shares a humorous video of Roy Zimmerman performing his
anthem to marriage equality at the Skeptics Society conference.
"Defenders of Marriage" is on Roy's album "Faulty Intelligence."
Introducing the Typo Correction Act of 2007
An Act concerning a series of typographical errors regarding legally
recognized unions of two consenting persons in New Jersey.
New bill would 'defend' marriage from sharks
Bill S-691, also known as The Protection Of Marital Extremities Act,
was co-sponsored by Mel Martinez (RFL), who said that, as a devoted
husband, he would not want his own 25-year marriage to be split to
pieces by a shark, and hinted that opponents of the bill were in fact
aiding the fish in their "murderous ways."
Shopping spree
When I'm feeling despondent over the state of gay rights in Americaor
the concurrent assaults on reproductive freedom, science, and rational
thoughtthere's just one thing that helps me overcome my feelings of
despair: getting free sh** from Focus on the Family!
COLUMN: Straight talk
The Stranger
August 3, 2006
For years following the breakup of my marriage I wallowed in anger,
despair, and self-recrimination. Of course, like any rational person I
blamed my ex. But I also blamed myself... again and again. But I'm
happy to report that the clouds have cleared from my eyes, for while
reading the state supreme court decision upholding Washington's
Defense of Marriage Act, I had an epiphany. The divorce wasn't my
fault after all. It wasn't even my ex's. It was the gays'.
VIDEO: Lewis Black on divorce
"This is a huge problem. Divorce is a sacred institution between a man
and a woman who hate each other. God wanted Adam to pay alimony to
Eve, not Steve. To paraphrase congressman Gingrey, it's not just any
kind of hate, it's a hate that can ruin children."
VIDEO: A look back at Massachusetts
Ed Helms, a correspondent for "The Daily Show" with Jon Stewart, last
Thursday presented a news segment called "Mass.Hysteria" that looked
back on the year since Massachusetts legalized gay marriage. [After
clicking the link, scroll down to the videos and click on
"Mass.Hysteria"].
Legal limbo for a couple of more than 30 years
According to a recent poll, a wide majority of Americans believe that
long-time companions President Bush and advisor Karl Rove should have
access to the same rights that married couples enjoy. Under current
law, Mr. Rove would be denied hospital visitation rights should the
President become ill. Nor could the two exercise the right to refuse
to testify against one another should legal troubles befall one or
both of them.
Hate speech on the other line
Comedian Eugene Mirman's recorded phone conversations show deceitful
efforts made by anti-gay extremists to solicit donations through
switching phone carriers; making outrageous assertions to callers,
such groups claim MCI sponsors child pornography.
Gay couple feels pressure to marry
"At a Memorial Day picnic Monday, the conversation returned to the
couple's single status so many times that Burton said 'it might as
well have been a bridal shower.'"
Why Marriage Matters America, Equality, and Gay People's Right to Marry.
By Evan Wolfson
Read reviews! Purchase the book or receive a signed copy as a thank you for your donation!
Read families’ stories about how marriage discrimination affects everyday life. These stories communicate, in concrete ways, how the exclusion of same-sex couples from marriage hurts families and helps no one.
Start in The Marriage Basics to get short answers to your big questions about the freedom to marry, and learn more about the protections and responsibilities of marriage, the historical background for this civil rights movement, why separate is not equal, and so much more.
