The nearly thirty people who crowded into the meeting room of Christ Chapel of the Valley in North Hollywood were diverse. Some young, some old. Some nervous, some confident. All, however, came ready to go door to door with a personal and a political message, one so important that we were willing to give up our Saturday (and, for me, vacation time) to hit the streets and begin conversations with total strangers.

This might look like any ordinary canvass in any ordinary campaign. But it was much more than that.

We were all volunteers with Vote for Equality (VFE), a project of the Los Angeles Gay & Lesbian Center, there to knock on doors and talk to California voters about restoring the freedom to marry in their state. In the wake of the 2008 passage of Proposition 8, organizers on the ground in California have been getting down to the hard work of convincing those who voted to ban marriage for gay couples to change their minds. However, figuring out just how to change minds is an arduous process, and one that continues. 

While there is still time before an initiative to overturn Prop 8 appears on the ballot, Vote for Equality has built a robust field program to test various ways of communicating the importance of marriage for gay couples to voters. They have done a great deal of work thus far (over 7,500 conversations with voters in just over one year), and they are continuing to learn lessons and take stock of exchanges with each voter.

Vote for Equality is also showing that relating personal stories and listening intently to people’s concerns over marriage is having an impact. Regina Clemente, VFE Project Director, told me that of those people who were either undecided or unsupportive of marriage equality when a VFE volunteer knocked on their door, 25% “begin to reconsider their stance on marriage.” What’s more, people are remembering these conversations—which they know based on follow-up calls to voters who changed their position on the first contact. Of those who changed their position during the course of the original discussion, 50% have solidified that change. That means that about 12% of those canvassed change their position on marriage long-term, an outstanding success rate given how close the Prop 8 election returns were in 2008.

The numbers alone, however, can’t fully convey the shifts that volunteers are able to experience and foster at the doors. We were encouraged to ask several questions to reveal the source of people’s concerns. Are you married, and why did you marry? Do you know any gay or lesbian people? Do you talk with them about the freedom to marry?

These are meant to be long-form conversations, carefully addressing the discomfort people have with marriage, whether it be uneasiness with the word “marriage,” misunderstanding about gay and lesbian people, or worries (long exploited by our opponents) about children learning about marriage in schools. 

While I might have initially expected to encounter a series of slammed doors during the canvass, the reality could not have been more different. People were welcoming and friendly. Most of all, they were eager to learn more about this issue once I introduced it.

Perhaps the most rewarding part of these conversations was telling my own story, and connecting it to the lives of the people on the other side of the doorframe. “I’m gay,” I would say, “and I grew up wanting a family just like all my neighbors and friends. I still want that, and that’s why marriage is important for my future.” The folks I spoke with appreciated hearing my experiences. One woman told me that, while she remained undecided about the issue, “I will think about you” as she continues to mull it over in the months ahead. What more could I ask for?

Indeed, Regina informed me that what voters remember about these conversations months after the fact are the volunteers themselves. They remember that they had a pleasant discussion with the volunteers, and they remember their stories. Having an honest conversation about real anxieties puts a face on the issue like few other outreach methods can. Strikingly, even if voters already knew gay people, they rarely, if ever, talked about marriage with them. There has been a hush about marriage, and the gay people in these voters’ lives have not been breaking the silence.

Breaking that silence is what this canvass was all about, along with others like it across California and throughout the nation. And the momentum continues. As Freedom To Marry Executive Director Evan Wolfson recently wrote, 

Indeed, starting that conversation has never been more important. Vote for Equality and others will continue to persuade Californians to restore the freedom to marry in their state. Only by mobilizing, reaching out, listening, and convincing will we win marriage nationwide. 

Vote for Equality will be continuing their canvasses and trainings into the foreseeable future, and they are looking for more volunteers! Their next canvass will be held this Saturday, on September 25th. You can sign up here, or check out the many other opportunities to get involved!