Planning for a KY Wedding
April 08, 2015
Tadd Roberts & Benjamin Moore • Louisville, KY
Tadd and Ben were on a trip with Ben’s parents in Canada on the day that the core of the so-called Defense of Marriage Act was struck down in 2013. The four of them immediately found each other in the lobby of the hotel they were staying at and hugged each other, cried, and celebrated the news.
“It’s a moment I’ll never forget,” Ben said. Although they had casually talked about having a destination wedding, as they could not get married in their home state of Kentucky, the couple now knew that that wasn’t what they wanted. “We decided that afternoon that we had to get married at home. It was important to us to be surrounded by our family and friends, to celebrate our relationships that had endured some significant bumps and some extraordinary joys.”
The couple got engaged in 2012, after a series of some of these “significant bumps.” That year, Tadd had just been home a few days after receiving surgery when he was told that the doctors had found a small tumor on his appendix.
What followed were three weeks of a hospital stay, an eight-hour surgery, and months of recovery. Today, Tadd is thankfully cancer free, but the process was harrowing for both Tadd and Ben. “I spent nearly every night at the hospital by his side,” Ben remembered. “We cried together, worried together, and decided courses of treatment together.”
After that battle, the couple saw each other in a new light. Thankfully, Ben was not turned away from visitation, despite the lack of legal connection, but if something had happened to Tadd that rendered him unable to make his own medical decisions, Ben may not have been able to step in.
“When we emerged on the other side of this dark time, our bond was stronger than ever,” Ben said. “We realized just how much we loved each other. Suddenly, life seemed to slow down and what was truly important became very clear. That following Christmas, Tadd proposed.”
The couple has been planning their Kentucky wedding ever since, and they’re extremely excited to speak their vows in front of their friends, family, and loved ones. “Our families have always been overwhelmingly supportive,” Ben said. “His siblings and parents treat me as one of their own, as do mine to him. My nieces and nephew call him Uncle Tadd – he’s arguably their favorite uncle!”
Ben and Tadd also look forward to someday raising children of their own. They both love kids, and they can’t wait to begin building a family together. Still, the laws that ban them from marriage are holding them back.
“We worry about the restrictive and difficult laws,” Ben said. “The layers of red tape, the potential ridicule the children might face. We’re determined that, following our legal marriage, we will actively pursue options for children.”
The two hope that their marriage will finally take place – and be legal – this summer in their home state of Kentucky. “Our roots are here,” Ben said. “We were educated here. We met here. This is our home. The neighborhoods are gorgeous, the arts community is thriving and the local shops and restaurants are some of the best. We love Louisville.”
The couple has seen such great progress in the marriage movement since they met in 2003, and they are optimistic that the ruling expected from the United States Supreme Court this summer will be in favor of the freedom to marry.
“When Tadd and I met in 2003, we never really dreamed we would be able to marry in the future,” Ben said. Now, 12 years later, the couple is hoping that the Court will prove them wrong.